Diving into Marianas Trench
Come on in, the water's lovely
The Mariana Trench, in the western Pacific Ocean, is the deepest point on earth - two kilometres further away from sea level than the summit of Mt. Everest. Dive down there and your ears are going to really ache. I obviously don't need to tell my audience that it is named after Mariana of Austria, the Queen of Spain between 1649-1665. People like you just know things like that. What I can't tell you, though, is why a 20+ year old rock band from Vancouver is named after the trench, or why they don't quite spell the name properly. It's mystery that keeps life interesting, though.
I had a Marianas Trench CD once - long enough ago that I still had CDs. It was called Masterpiece Theatre. The biggest loss of the end of the CD era is that you can no longer go to the record store and just pick out the new music that has cool covers - unless you buy vinyl, but I'm not that pretentious. The cover for this one was certainly cool, and I was happy to own it. I hadn't heard the band consciously since I got rid of my CDs, though, so I had the treat of attending a show tonight with a pleasing amount of blindness regarding what was ahead. When the show’s sold out and the ticket was free, all you can do is win.
There are a large group of people out there who define themselves by the position that Nickelback sucks. It's a dumb opinion - they put out bangers in bulk, and denying that doesn't make you cool. You don't have to love them, but if you hate them you're just a boring dick. People who do think that would have an issue with Marianas Trench right out of the gate. All six of their studio albums have been released on Vancouver's 604 Records, the label founded by Nickelback founder Chad Kroeger. That's also the label that brought the world Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe among many other gems.
Like all good shows, this one started with a dude in overalls and a dopey hat pushing a lawnmower around on stage and drinking beer while AC/DC’s Thunderstruck blasted overhead. I have no idea why, or who he was, but I'm all for it. I'm also all for the stage setup, with the drummer up on his own platform a good six feet above the stage. Again, no idea why. But I don't need to know why to know I like it.
The thought I had every time I listened to them back in the day was the thought I had during their opening tune - these dudes really, really like Queen. They never said so, but they didn't have to. You can't be this theatrical, or wear that many things that sparkle or so few sleeves, if you don't worship at the shrine of Freddy. I was also struck during that opener that if Geddy Lee couldn't make a Rush show one day, Trench frontman Josh Ramsay could step in and fool blind fans without a doubt.
This was a room full of 3000 very passionate fans of the band. The start of each tune was met with squeals of glee. There were hundreds of co-lead vocalists in the crowd. I love being at a show where I don't know what's coming. I can just soak in the excitement of those around me. Live music remains undefeated almost regardless of the form.
I wouldn't call myself a massive fan of the music. It's a bit too ‘NSYNC with a little harder edge’ for my ears. But that was irrelevant here. These guys have been together with this lineup for more than 20 years, and it shows. They are tight as fuck, they've considered every detail of their show intently, they're very likable, they can write the hell out of a lyric, and they had the crowd in a frenzy. Every thumb I have is way up.
Josh told a world class story of their last show here in town. As he was switching guitars between songs at one point during that show he smashed his face so hard that he had a black eye for two months, and he had to go to the hospital the next day. He was so beaten up that the doctor kept asking if he lived in a safe space, didn't believe him when he insisted he was fine, and only stopped pressing the issue when he was too busy laughing after Josh showed him a YouTube video of the guitar-face collision. Amazing. The postscript was that as he walked into the theatre this morning for soundcheck, he was struck by how nice the room was. He expressed his surprise that they had never played here before. Then he saw the poster of him on the wall - signed by him - among all the other bands that have had shows in the room. Turns out the impact damaged more than his eye that night.
We need to talk about Mikey. I'm in a fairly privileged height category. I'd be the shortest guy on most NBA teams, but I'm among the tallest in most rooms. It's very rare that my view gets blocked anywhere. The same can't be said for Mikey, who had the seat beside mine. He would be the shortest guy in most sixth grade class photos - though he'd stand out due to his beard, which could easily hide two toddlers and a labradoodle. A thing we quickly learned after meeting and before the opening set, though, was that if I stood up, and he stood on his chair, we were almost exactly the same height. It was an experiment suggested by his wife, Connie. The first thing Mike, who may be the world's nicest human, said from his lofty perch was ‘wow, the world rules through your eyes’. Thanks for the reminder, buddy. The clouds have had a slightly darker tint at times lately for no particular reason. The next time that happens, I'll think of Mikey's words and everything will instantly be better. The world really does rule through my eyes. The wisdom that guy has per inch is unmatched.
There are bad things in this world. Crime. Poverty. Injustice. Ohio State University. But very little is worse than seated concerts. Nothing sucks the energy out of a room faster. When I was in high school I was convinced I was going to become Prime Minister. If I had, not only would my face be on every coin and bill, but seats at rock shows would be banned. Especially in front of the stage. As a society we can, and must, do better. I wound up watching most of the show standing at the back of the room. A silent figure stoically standing up to the oppression around me. Trust me, it was heroic. By their next show, the band will probably have written a song about me
A couple songs into her opening set, LOLO called in the crowd to ‘make some noise if you have no clue who the fuck I am’. A lot of noise was made. But we were in good hands. She and her band did a textbook job of doing their job. They played with so much energy that the crowd couldn't help but absorb some. She told a few stories, had a few sing-alongs, danced and jumped and screamed, played some downright strong songs, threw in a few very well chosen samples, and won some hearts over at a show where noone was there to see her. Having been a fan of her debut album for most of a week now, I felt more than a little smug when she closed her 45 minute set with what struck me as her best tune - Hot Girls in Hell. I'm a fan of LOLO - something I didn't know was a thing you could be just six days ago.
The details: Marianas Trench with LOLO, Grey Eagle Event Centre, Calgary, Tuesday, December 10, 2024, 8 pm
Up next: Not sure, but there will be something before Christmas for sure.